The Get Honest Challenge: Can you tell the truth for 24 hours?
Could you be honest for a day?
I don’t mean saying everything on your mind. I mean being honest with yourself, and yes, that will translate into saying honest things. Could you check in all day long and ask yourself: Is what I’m about to say true for me? Or is it a white lie, or half truth, or what I think they want me to say? Am I being passive-aggressive? Do I even know what I want, or am I operating on autopilot?
Most people I’ve talked to about this tell me that it would be difficult. You regularly say yes when you mean no. You go along to keep the peace. You swallow the truth because you don’t want to make waves or seem difficult. I wonder, if like me, you’re not even 100% sure what you want. Chinese or pizza? This show or that show? Stay in or go out? Iced coffee or hot? And these are just the simplest of decisions.
It might seem easier to “go along to get along.” But it’s exhausting and draining. You might feel disconnected, resentful, or like you’re abandoning yourself. This behavior might feel familiar, and change feels scary. I hear all of that. The worst part of the constant half-truths and hiding is that the people you’re doing life with don’t get to know or see the real you.
Enter the Get Honest Challenge: A 24-hour invitation to practice being true to yourself.
The setup
This isn’t about airing all of your transgressions and digging up old grievances. We are not calling our college roommate to let them know that we’re mad that they used to eat all of our leftovers. Instead, this is a chance to make small changes that allow you to be more you in your own life. During the challenge, you can:
Say “I forgot” instead of making an excuse
Say “That doesn’t work for me” without explaining
Admit “I didn’t want to” instead of pretending you’re busy
Do not reply to a text that you know would drag you into someone’s drama
Turn off the TV and head to bed
Notice when your yes is a no and change your answer
Drop passive-aggressive comments and share what’s going on
Ask for help, even with things you usually do by yourself
If you feel called to tell someone a truth that you haven’t shared with them before, I recommend using “I” statements, not “you” statements. That looks like, “I don’t do mid-week lunches anymore,” instead of “Can you stop asking me when we can get together? You know I’m busy during the week.”
IRL
A few evenings ago, I was at a neighbor’s house. We were laughing and having a nice time. People were lingering.
But I had told myself I wanted to go to bed at 10.
Ten o’clock rolled around, and I felt the tug, the part of me that didn’t want to disappoint anyone or seem rude. But another part of me, the part I’ve worked hard to connect with by being honest, knew I needed to go.
I said goodbye and left.
I honored myself and kept a small promise. I chose sleep over socializing. I prioritized my well-being, even though it meant leaving myself open to whatever my friends might think about me (she’s lame, perhaps, I don’t know).
That’s a tiny example of being honest, but it matters.
Why honesty matters
In The Adult Chair® model I practice, truth-telling is one of the core practices of living as a healthy adult. When you speak your truth, you build inner trust. You stop performing and start living from the inside out.
Honesty changes how you relate to the world. You show up more fully. Your relationships become more authentic. You know yourself and can be seen.
24 hours of honesty
Here’s how to begin:
Set your intentions. Journal or think about times in your day, certain people, or friction points where you’re used to telling a white lie or going with the flow. Get clear on what success looks like (and what honestly would feel like) at these different points.
Start with awareness. Notice when you’re about to say something that isn’t true for you. Pause. Breathe. Ask: What do I want to say?
Keep it simple. You don’t need to overexplain. “I’m not available for that,” or “That doesn’t feel like a yes for me,” or even “No, thank you” is enough.
Stay connected to your body. Place a hand on your chest or belly when you’re unsure. See what message you receive from your body. That’s your intuition speaking up.
Breathe through the discomfort. Honesty can feel edgy if you’re used to people-pleasing. But if we focus on our breath and take the story out of the equation, the emotions will pass. They are energy and they are meant to move through.
Embrace the silence. One thing I’ve noticed as I’ve practiced this is that I share my opinions less. I take the time to filter my thoughts through the lens of kind, necessary, timely, and helpful, and if it doesn’t check those boxes, I don’t bring it up. Yes, that means I might leave my kid floundering, trying to put air in her bicycle tires instead of correcting her right away. Okay, so she learns how, and I worked myself out of a job.
Reflect at the end of the day. What did you notice? Where was it easy? Where was it hard? What did it feel like in your body to be honest? Would you do it again?
Noting your hesitations
Right now, you might be thinking my boss won’t understand, or I can’t be honest with this person. Yes, some power dynamics might make honesty tricky. But can you be honest with yourself in those situations?
Maybe you’re thinking, this is just plain mean. I’m a mom, I need to be there for my kids, and I don’t always want to, so there’s a point to that white lie I live out every day. I hear that.
You’re not going to give up your responsibilities and only do the things you like. That’s irresponsible, not honest. But what you can do is notice how certain things make you feel and think about how you could shift internally to either tolerate them more easily, do them less, ask for help, or work your way out of a job.
You might find, like I have, that there are lots of areas in my life I don’t have a strong opinion about. That makes the things I do care about more important, and it’s reasonable when I express my opinions.
This is not about getting it “right.” It’s about starting the practice. You can begin with one moment. One conversation. One honest “no.”
One beautiful thing that happened to me when I started telling the truth is that people weren’t that fazed. I thought they would find me ignorant if I did not know the latest music or pop culture. It wasn’t easy saying, “I don’t know,” for the first time, but it’s been a game changer.
Because every time you choose truth, you come back to yourself.
Need some support?
I help women reconnect with their needs, and their voice so they can feel like themselves again and enjoy the life they’ve built. Book a free 30-minute connection call to take the first step.
Rebecca Fellenbaum is a certified somatic life coach, intuitive guide, blogger (yep, you’re reading it right now), and mom of two. She helps women who have “made it” on the outside feel great about themselves on the inside so they can find joy in their lives, kids, and families. Get her free guide: Slowing Down: 9 Steps to Live With Intention to start meaning it when you say you’re doing fine.
