A season of comparison: How to stop measuring yourself against other parents
Back-to-school can be a fresh start, new shoes, new teachers, and new routines. But if you’re feeling judged, defensive, or lacking confidence, you are not alone. This time of year, many parents get caught in the comparison trap.
Maybe it starts at the bus stop when someone asks, “Did you go anywhere fun this summer?” and you feel bad for not taking your kids on a big trip. Or you see picture-perfect first-day-of-school photos complete with brand new outfits, and you think you’re falling short.
If you’re measuring your family against someone else’s, it’s easy to feel judged or hear your inner voice say, “You should be doing more.”
Comparison, however, reveals our deepest desires and presents a unique learning opportunity, just in time for school.
Why We Compare
We’re wired to scan our environment for safety and belonging. It’s how we figure out where we fit in. Our minds constantly check our surroundings by asking: Am I okay? Do I belong here?
Comparison becomes a trap when we pay so much attention to what’s happening externally that we ignore our quiet inner knowing.
I hear from many parents this time of year who feel less than, judgmental, or self-critical. Maybe you wonder if you should sign your child up for more activities, pack healthier lunches, or get a tutor. By understanding your values and desires, you can lessen the outer noise and get more comfortable with your intuition. That helps you make decisions that work for you and your family.
Rebecca Fellenbaum is a certified somatic life coach, Reiki practitioner, intuitive guide, writer, and Cleveland, Ohio-based mom. She helps women who have “made it” on the outside feel great about themselves on the inside so they can find joy in their lives, kids, and families. Get her free guide: Slowing Down: 9 Steps to Live With Intention to start meaning it when you say you’re doing fine.
