Discovering I Lived in Fear, Thinking It Was Love
“Fear is the opposite of love. Love is the absence of fear. Whatever you do out of fear will create more fear. Whatever you do out of love will create more love.” ~Osho
I did not realize I was driven by fear for most of my life.
I thought I was making choices from love by being good, responsible, kind, and successful. Looking back, I see how much of my life was organized around keeping myself safe, and that came from a place of fear.
From the outside, I looked successful, practical, and just fantastic at adult life. In the quiet moments, which I rarely allowed, I felt dull, disconnected, and like I was watching my life from the outside. I filled those voids and pushed away those feelings by doing. I had no idea that fear was in the driver’s seat. Fear spoke loudly and told me:
Keep yourself small.
Be careful about speaking up.
Try to be as good as others.
You’re not smart or good enough and need to work harder and do more.
Love has to be earned by proving yourself.
And because I didn’t know it was fear, I listened. I thought these messages were the truth. I didn’t realize that I lacked the expansive, open power of self-love.
This article was published in April 2025 on TinyBuddha.com. Click here to read the full article.
Rebecca Fellenbaum is a certified life coach, intuitive guide, writer, and entrepreneur. She helps women who have “made it” on the outside feel great about themselves on the inside so they can find joy in their lives, kids, and families. Get her free guide: Slowing Down: 9 Steps to Live With Intention to start meaning it when you say you’re doing fine.
